Serviam

Boy, the last blog was a bit of a theological hit & run wasn't it? Basically the passage which had my knickers in a knot, was the bit where Ben disparaged the interviewer for extrapolating his argument to include the thoughts of a starving Ethiopian. I totally get where he's coming from about the idea of this 'Ethiopian' being a hollow projection of the interviewer which he/she has conveniently utilised as a defence for a reason not to have faith, BUT it also strikes me as a dangerous move towards a obtuse disregard for reality.

Just because you don't happen to know a starving Ethiopian personally, doesn't mean they cease to exist in our global community, or more to the point, in our conception of a world created and governed by God. The question of how God can permit such suffering and injustice, is as old as it is valid. It may not be a solid reason for abandoning faith, but neither can it be dismissed so easily. I got the impression he was saying something to the effect of; these people are outside our sphere of experience, thus they are not our concern - they do not (should not) form a part of our faith dialogue. That bugged me.

But it goes deeper than that. When I first read it, it didn't bother me at all, in fact I thought it was a stunning piece of insight. I was all ready to jump on the Ben-wagon and lay down all my useless Western guilt at the feet of this feel-good philosophy - that's what really bugged me. My uber-conservative mother often accuses me of being a 'warm & fuzzy Catholic' in reference to my vocal opposition of several doctrinal edicts which appear to require 'real sacrifice'. Well usually I'd brush this comment off as just another on my crazy mother's long list of eldest-daughter criticisms... that is if I didn't secretly fear she was right.

I think there's something to this sacrifice thing - to the decision to put someone's needs before your own. Ben touched on it when he spoke of our calling to serve others. Couldn't agree more. In a slightly amusing twist of irony, my high school's motto was Serviam (to serve) and as much as it was drilled into me for 5 years by the nuns, it is only recently that I have really begun to understand the importance of this duty that we all have to each other. I don't want to be one of these people that is only concerned in living an easy life - bloody hell, let's skip the euphemisms - a selfish life.

I refuse to debate the rights & wrongs of homosexuality, the ordination of women, married priests, contraception, abortion or pre-marital sex here, but lets just say, Pope Benedict and I don't really see eye to eye on, well - any of it. The point is though, I can see and appreciate how one might interpret this divergence as me picking and choosing the warm and fuzzy bits of Catholicism, whilst simultaneously rejecting the harder, more personally taxing aspects (to use a regional colloquialism: I'm copping out). In a religion that is all about the epic mortal struggle - where is my pound of flesh coming from? Can I still call myself a Catholic when I seem so diametrically opposed to many of the religion's key ideologies? The short answer is: yes, I believe I can. But that's a whole other essay.