yadda yadda yadda

Seinfeld: ehh. Can take it or leave it. "Heelloo Newman!" I'm ok. "No Jerry for you!" I'm ok. Whichever way the wind blows really.

One stand up joke that stuck with me though, was a bit Jerry did about public speaking. Try to bear with me now because I know I'm not going to deliver this to maximum effect, but it went something like:

"According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two fear is death. Death is number two!! Now, this means, to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy!"

Now that speaks to me. I am downright, honest to God petrified of speaking in front of groups numbering larger than three. I shake, I mumble, I rush, I mis-time... basically I SUCK! It kills me because I kill on paper - oh for the love of all things good & pure, why can't all information just be forwarded non-verbally?!

Anywho, in case you haven't guessed, this blog is inspired by recent events; namely a presentation I had to give at Århus Uni this afternoon to a room full of budding Trainees. The unspeakable joy. Ok so I have to admit it wasn't all that bad - in comparison to some of the other total car crashes I've had in my short but illustrious public speaking career, it was actually quite passable. I didn't have to cling to a solid object to keep my legs from buckling, I only did the nervous shrieking exclamation thing once or twice, I got the occasional audience laugh (in appropriate places) and the organisers seemed sincere enough when they thanked me at the end (look, they gave my the chocolate - chocolate says 'passable' in my language). Two things screwed it for me though: 1) I was lying through my teeth, & 2) I actually said the words, "I'm funnier in the other hemisphere." I know, the decent into tragically un-hip (or just tragedy) shall be swift and cruel.

Lord, please let it be another 6 months before I have to do that again. I swear I'll give up the OC if you do this one little thing for me - that's a fair swap dude.