Enter the fairy god(less)mother

I've been asked to be a godmother for the first time. Am quite chuffed! Doesn't hurt at all that the godchild-to-be is just about the most adorable boy to ever don a pair of Ben-10 floaties. So you might imagine my disappointment when I learnt that I do not in fact qualify to be a godparent...

DISQUALIFYING AS A GODPARENT

13. What follows is a list of personal characteristics that disqualify a person as a godparent:

13.1 the person has no intention of fulfilling his obligations as a godparent.

13.2 the person is younger than the age that has been stipulated by the diocesan Bishop, usually age 16.13.3 the person is not a Catholic.

13.4 the person has not received the Sacrament of Baptism in the Catholic faith.

13.5 the person has not received the Sacrament of Confirmation in the Catholic faith.

13.6 the person has not received the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist in the Catholic faith.

13.7 the person is not living his faith in accordance with the teachings of the Catholic Church. (Example: The person has not been at Mass for 2, 5 or 10 years. The person employs birth control methods.)

13.8 the person belongs to a religious Order (preventing him/her from making this commitment).

13.9 the person is the spouse of the one seeking Baptism.

13.10 the person is a biological or adoptive father or mother of the child.

13.11 the person has incurred an official excommunication or "latae sententiae," by the very commission of the offense. (Example: involved in one or more abortions.)

13.12 the person is a member of a condemned society.

13.13 the person is a public sinner. (Example: Prostitution, living common-law.)

13.14 the person is a heretic. "Heresy is the obstinate post- baptismal denial of some truth which must be believed with divine and catholic faith, or it is likewise an obstinate doubt concerning the same."

13.15 the person belongs to a schism. "Schism is the refusal of submission to the Roman Pontiff or of communion with the members of the Church subject to him."

13.16 the person is involved in a mix-marriage and believes his/her children should choose their own religion when they grow up.

13.17 the person believes that all religions are equal or that other religions are equal to the Catholic Church.

13.18 the person is involved in an invalid marriage. (Example: Justice of the Peace, marriage outside the Church.)

13.19 the person is not registered with a parish, not belonging to any specific faith community.

An epic fail on at least 6 of the 19 requirements - possibly 7 as I'm no longer sure I'm not a member of a condemned society. Best work rubber soled shoes into my baptism outfit.