Hey lady! Step away from the fridge.

It seems I will do anything to avoid completing this assignment... at the expense of sleep, at the expense of physical health, at the expense of friends, at the expense of my sanity, at the expense of The Blue Pie Piece's sanity.

Let's face it - I'll even indulge my epic procrastination impulse by blogging - things must getting out of hand.  Would you be terrifically disgusted if I confessed I have been in such a major study funk that I haven't changed my shirt in two days?  OK fine, my shirt or my knickers - OH JESUS/KYLIE, SAVE ME!!  

Why must I torture myself so?  I have officially completed all 'Achievements' in Zombies vs Plants (come on, you're a little impressed), washed all the throw pillow cushions & curtains in the house (you know you just never think to do them, do you), obsessively read every Daily Mail story that has been posted in the last 7 days (gad-zukes I wish still had access to ITV player - quite sure I'd enjoy it even more if I actually recognised the people I was ogling in their orangeness... oh hang on, that's right, I don't care.  I'm just reading this eternal ticker-tape of drivel in order to avoid actual productive pursuits), trawled the Domain website for houses eeeeeennnnndleeeeesssssllllyyyyy, thought about witty-but-not-too-needy-for-attention status updates for Facebook then read too many other people's status updates and decided such a thing does not exist, and ate chewy-sour sweets (like a lot.  My teeth actually hurt the first few days but now they're kinda just tingly... I'm no dentist but I feel this does not bode well).

But my FAVOURITE ALL TIME meaningless and time-sucking activity is to pace the length of the house, glancing at it's sleek figure slyly each time I pass, shortening my orbit gradually, closer & closer... until thowp!  I've got the fridge door open again and am staring at the same assortment of half-finished, potentially toxic condiments, a bag of bird's eye chilies, a 4 week old avocado which I'm not yet prepared to give up on (ever the tight-arsed optimist), a supremely uninteresting block of own-brand cheddar, the flat dregs of a bottle of tonic and the ever cheery nest of riesling, vodka, vermouth & gin.  And here I remain, as if hypnotised by the wonder of the built-in egg tray, for a good 3-4 minutes, before sternly calling myself an unpleasant name, slamming the door and heading... outside to look at those gutters.  You just never think to do them, do you?