boo

Holy shite - I just got a visit from the ghost of boyfriends past. Does anybody else think the world is shrinking at a disturbing rate... anyone?!

Well at least this has answered one of life's big questions for me - I really am chicken shite. Yep, I'm running far & I'm running fast - there is NO WAY I'm taking a pleasant stroll down good ol' memory lane with this dude. Can you imagine?!

Him: Do you have a job?
Me: Ummm, no.

Him: Do you have a house?
Me: Ummm, no.

Him: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: Ummm, no.

Him: Are you 10kg heavier than when I last saw you?
Me: Ummm, yes.

Him: Do you have any self respect?
Me: Ummm, no.

Loco for Coco

Coca leaf 'lunch for kids'
AFP - February 25, 2006

LA PAZ: Coca leaf has more nutritional value than milk and should replace it in school lunches, Bolivia's new Foreign Minister has suggested."Our children need calcium, and the coca leaf has more calcium than milk," David Choquehuanca said.

In past interviews, Mr Choquehuanca said he stopped reading books when he discovered his Aymara heritage, and claimed to get his knowledge from reading the wrinkles of his ancestors.

"Our children need phosphorous, and the coca leaf has more phosphorous than fish," he said. "Perhaps instead of milk in school lunches, we should be giving coca leaf to our children."

Mr Choquehuanca said his information on the nutritional value of the coca leaf came from studies by the Bolivian Health Ministry and Harvard University.

Coca leaf is chewed by millions of Bolivians as a tonic and to stave off hunger. But it is also processed into cocaine and sold abroad, chiefly in the US, in a multi-billion-dollar illegal trade.

Bolivian President Evo Morales, also of indigenous extraction, who was elected in December with strong support from coca farmers, is under US pressure to repress the industry.
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And I thought my Mum was being inhumane, refusing to put Roll-Ups in my lunch box... mmmm, real fruit - flat out... excuse me, i have to ummm... go now...

Fishism

Luv friends (& friends of friends etc!) who are hooked up, connected, in the know & generally up to date with all the new ticket releases, events, concerts, exhibitions & festivals going on in this town! Frankly it makes my head spin - much more comfortable just getting the heads up email, transferring the mula into their respective bank accounts and letin' the good times roll. Anna scored tickets to the UK premier of Little Fish this week, & despite the fact that I barely know her, I BPP, luv 'er. Note to self: schmooze the pants off this chick - Mumma needs a new pair of passes to somethin' sparkly.

Between us though, I'd never heard of the flick, but after a little Google I'm super psyched! Check it out for yourself HERE.

One Canny SOB

Does everybody know about this except me?!

One Red Paperclip

I need to get out more - no, scratch that - clearly I need to stay in more... wonder what I could get for my stash of pilfered white out...

like a dead dingo's donger

Ok, yes; I'm padding out my blog with lots of meaningless crap until I feel like writing again. Sue me.

So punk - how Aussie are you?

call on me

Sorry, have to have a grandma rant for a sec - people just DON'T have any manners anymore! If you say you're going to call, CALL! Suck it up and DIAL people.

And no, I'm NOT talking about boys... they generally call (whether I want them to or, as is most often the case, not).

James Blunt is rhyming slang

Soundtrack to my life...

It's Bloody Cold

The name's Pie, Brown Pie

I am a terrible person; I can't for the life of me, keep secrets. Yep, I'm an incurable blabber mouth... even my own shite gets yelled to the 4 winds. There's absolutely no defence for it either! I just can't sit on ANYTHING - I need to discuss it in detail with at least 1 other person - the who's, the why's, the how's, the where's, the what's & the what for's. 2 glasses of wine & you can ask me anything - no, more than that - I'll volunteer everything. Did it again last night and I'm having severe blabber's remorse this morning (in addition to a cracking headache). The killer part is, I know I'm just going to go out there & do it again the very next time something juicy lands on my lap - thank GOD my friends don't lead more devious & debaucherous lives or I'd be in BIG trouble!

Why, why, why do I keep doing this? How, how, how do I still have friends?! There goes my career in the intelligence service...

Wish you were here

A Polish friend of mine from Shanghai is currently holidaying in OZ & has just sent me a couple of photo's of him looking tragically sunburnt at various touristy sites along the East coast... & in 5 short minutes I've jumped from generally elated (hey, I hardly ever see a computer these days - my daily hour at the internet cafe is treasured time!) to dreadfully homesick. It'll pass - it always does 'cause I am where I've designed to be... but damn! It occurs to me I've passed my own record for the longest spell I've been away from home. No visits in over 14 months - 14 months since I've breathed that sweet, dry, hot Bris-vegas air. *sigh* I think we'll be having a nice Australian red (or 2) with dinner tonight.

But I digress, what I really wanted to write about today was the sucky, inescapable inequality women face in the workplace everyday. I had a recent illuminating personal antidote & everything... but now I don't feel like it. Maybe tomorrow huh.

Londonist

Ohhh - my new favourite-ist site!

www.londonist.com

They even have a sister site in Shanghai - how freaking wicked! (Note: Aarhus NOT on the list, hmmm.)

Now wouldn't it be neat if I could figure out how to knock up a list of fav-site links on my sidebar...

Postcard From The Edge

Hello.

Whomever you are, whatever you do, irrespective your creed, political leanings, hair colour, music taste or nationality, & however you happened to stumble across this blog - please cross every finger, toe, arm, leg, eye & follicle available to you, tomorrow morning at exactly 11am GMT.

I must have (yes - it's an italics & bold kind of important!) this super fantastic job or a swear I'll do myself harm. That's right, I'm not kidding - death by chocolate if the cosmic powers that be do not come to my aid & secure my future forever happiness by letting me have this unbelievably fabulous wage paying position.

I've prayed, I've rubbed Buddha's belly, I've meditated, I've done my tarot, I've committed random acts of kindness, I've set up a deal with my spirit guide, I've cleansed my aura, I've lit incense, I've donated money to the poor, I've petitioned the appropriate saints - this is it - my last ditch bloody attempt to sway fate in my favour. Don't let me down people!

The truth shall set ye free

Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye angry.

Adolus Huxley

I just hope that 'ye' have already hired me before 'ye' find out the awful truth - hehehe!

Lost & Drowning

When good gifts go bad
by BBP

Some belated and very naughty Christmas pressies were awaiting my return to London - a 4kg tin of Quality Street, 4 bottles of red, 2 of Champagne & a king sized Caramello Koala. I love my friends, I know they mean well, but you don't give Attila the Hun an army of blood-thirsty Moors - Ted Bundy, a Lonley Planet guide to America - Myra Hindley, keys to the local creche - do you?! *sigh* Needless to say, resolutions 1 to 3 are now officially out the window. 4 weeks of saintliness before the fall - a new BPP record. In a supreme act of sacrifice (rivaling that soft core pretender Abraham & son- jeeze, what is up with me & biblical irony this year?), I donated chocy to the kitchen kids - the wine however, is posing a real problem.

I know it's never good to drink alone, but apparently I sadistically needed to remind myself of that fact last night. *groan* Kathleen brought me back seasons 1 & 2 of Lost from Shanghai, so I holed myself up in my room and didn't move from my laptop for 7hrs. In the absence of actual, solid foods (foraging in the kitchen would have required more than the maximum 2 minutes pause I was allowed for rest breaks) the only other thing in my room to consume was the wine; the evil, crappy, Spanish wine (I am never snubbing Jacob's Creek again - I hereby swear to be eternally grateful for even the most average of Australian wines. You'd think with thousands of years to mess about with the recipe, those Spaniards could muster up a more decent drop). Nastiness. Dozed off at some point, semi dressed & fully blissed out - but not before I'd messily wept for the tragic death of one of my favourite characters (yes - on the show, not in real life).

Was awoken @ 2 by an incoming txt which I confused for my alarm clock & gave myself such a fright that I bolted for the shower & was half way through conditioning before I realised I didn't have to be anywhere for another 7 hours. Stumbled immediately back into bed and eventually rocked up to my meeting this morning on time & very clean... but with very Ms. Turner-esque hair, as I neglected to dry before collapsing back into unconsciousness. Social drinker - must remember I am a SOCIAL DRINKER!

Life is but a dream

Joan Didion, who's been writing a lot on mortality following the deaths of her daughter Quintana and her husband John Gregory Dunne, says of Row, Row, Row Your Boat – that ostensibly cheerful round sung by so many families on Sunday drives – that "the most terrifying verse I know is, 'Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.'"

I've always thought that: profoundly depressing because it's profound. Spot on, as utterly accurate as an arrow through the heart. More than depressing; it's desolating.

A Russian guy, a Mongolian guy & an elephant walked into a bar...

A very Russian solution to an elephantine problem
Sydney Morning Herald
January 16, 2006

The Moscow Circus has resorted to vodka - and plenty of it - to keep two Indian elephants warm while they perform in chilly Mongolia.

As the circus prepared for a week-long program in Mongolia's capital Ulan Bator, they faced an awkward problem - how to keep the two tropical animals happy in one of the world's coldest environments.

"When the elephants arrived, we gave them three litres of vodka each to keep warm," a circus organiser in Mongolia said.

The mercury in Mongolia regularly falls to minus 30 degrees or lower during the winter months.

The elephants also have to be fed 50 kilograms of vegetables, 30 kilograms of fruit and 20 kilograms of bread and honey every day, running up a giant food bill footed by local bank Mongol Gazar Savings and Loan.

Why I got into the Arts: Reason #2

Reminds me of the look on my mother's face when I announced that, after 2 years of Economics, I was switching to Art History - priceless.

From a Kurt Vonnegut interview:

"If you want to really hurt your parents, and you don't have the nerve to
be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I'm not kidding. The arts are
not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more
bearable. Practising an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your
soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell
stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you
possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created
something."